Peoria Illinoisan

Courtesy of the Chicago Sun-Times

Dear Blogger:

 

Thank you for your recent submission. Though I have given your Weblog careful attention and consideration, I regret to inform you that it does not suit my present needs, for the following reason(s) (checked):

 

PJStar reports that Lick Creek Golf Course is closing soon to rebuild their greens and tidy up the place a little to be able to compete with the big boys.  Now where did I hear that before?

Oh yeah, HERE, and HERE.

(is it wrong to toot your own horn?) 

It’s heartwarming to see the Mayor Ardis and many of Peoria’s past Mayors coming together to raise money for Caterpillar Museum Sqaure.  Should I feel guilty that I’m not completely behind this monstrosity?  When Mayor Maloof comes knocking on my door singing the praises of the beautiful modern design and asking for my donation, I plan to let him know that as a tax-payer, I am already paying for it and will be forced to pay for it as long as I am living here- so no, I have no desire to pre-pay my taxes.

Is it out of the realm of possibility that they are getting together to raise funds in hopes of putting off the inevitable- the city of Peoria bail out of Lakeview.

The ongoing comparisons to the John Deere Museum continues to prove that this is more a Caterpillar Museum.  Lakeview isn’t going to attract anyone that it doesn’t now.  Cat may.  So we’re essentially subsidizing a Cat museum, and paying out our nozes for a “new and improved”  Lakeview.

Yippee! 

They’re selling postcards of the hanging…

I recently learned where the opening line from Dylan’s apocalyptic juggernaut of a song came from… and it ain’t pretty.

1920, Duluth Minnesota, Birthplace of Bob Dylan.  A white teenager accuses three black men of forcing him to watch them rape his girlfriend.  A mob of over 2,000 people hung the three black men from a lamppost at First Street and Second Avenue East.  The teenager eventually admits that he’d made up the whole story.

…2003… 83 years after the fact… the town of Duluth erects a memorial to the three murdered men.

As were many early history events, this photo was printed and circulated on postcards, hence the lyric.

Like how the white folk gather round and smile to the camera?

How many police officers does it take to attend to someone suffering from heat stroke?

7 - not counting the ambulance, if you’re at Railroad Days in Galesburg.

We had big plans to go down to Kartsville this weekend, but after reading Sunday’s paper and seeing the picture of the Diesel Locomotive, I changed plans.  C’mon kids, it’ll be fun, we’ll tour the Railroad museum, Climb into a Diesel, maybe go to the Model Train Show, there’s a little carnival, and then (as the big highlight) we can take a bus tour of a Train Yard.  We can go to Kartsville anytime, this’ll be cool, whadayathink?

After some groans from the audience a few ‘my dad is so lame’ looks, and a “I don’t even like trains” comment, we hit the road in search of a deep-fried carnival lunch and trains.

My great ‘dad’ plans got derailed, so to speak, after we arrived and saw the carnival rides and a Children’s Museum.  We got our deepfried lunch, as planned, I had a $6 rib sandwich, a $3 french fry, and a $3 small lemonade, they all had kid stuff and slushies before we headed over the the Children’s Museum to kill some time before the rides opened.

As far as Children’s Museums go, it’s not great, but it’s ok, considering the small market in which it is based.  The exhibits are mostly small budget, “let’s get a bunch of volunteers to help build this thing” looking.  The running water exhibit was a big hit, as was the grocery store and restaurant.  My daughter served me an excellent pretend milk-shake, although I think I was overcharged for my empty box of Hy-Vee macaroni.

It was suggested that we do not go to the Railroad Museum so we can have enough money to go on the rides, and the 40 minute yellow school bus tour of the train yard didn’t look very enticing to the kids either.

Ok, I give- on to the carnival.

I start with 30 tickets at a dollar each. 

First ride: 3 tickets x 4 people.

2nd ride: 4 tickets x 4 people.

Whoa - two rides and $28 later I have to go back to get more tickets.

(Ever wonder how the carnie’s decide how long a ride should last?  It’s the length of time it takes them to smoke a cigarette.  No joke) 

Ok, I’m running out of cash, so 1 more ride- they choose the tilt-a-whirl for $12, and we get 3 tickets from a nice lady who overbought and was leaving; perfect! Just enough for a ferris wheel ride for the little one.  Thank You, stranger.

After another $3 lemonade and a few $2 bottles of water, we decide to head home after some very nice, albeit expensive, old fashioned grimy summer carnival fun.

Next year I swear I’m taking that tour of the train yard… pending kid approval… 

One of the great eye-opening things about being a parent is figuring out your own parents, and no matter how hard you try and how much you vowed never to do certain things, you catch yourself doing and saying the same things that annoyed you as a kid.

Along those lines, I figured out why I never owned a “Slip N Slide” as a child.  It always looked like oh so much fun, but I swear I’ve never been on one, so of course I had to buy one for my own kids.

I slightly obsess over the grass in my yard, always wanting it to look like a perfectly manicured fairway, and of course, it’s always in vain.  I am absolutely convinced that creeping charlie was planted in my yard as some kind of punishment from above.  Nothing can kill it.  Literally… and if it gets in your flowerbed, you might as well raze the whole darn thing.  Maybe it’s nature’s way of getting back at me for my complete disdain of the trendy organic food movement.

So here’s what a Slip and Slide does to your lawn after a good afternoon playsession, and take into account that this photo is two weeks after the fact.

     

Have fun kids- and be kind to me when you get older, because someday you’ll have your own kids and you know what they say… payback is hell!

…it looks like there’s a chance for some severe weather…and now back to the Greg & Dan show… (as Dan pulls his weather radio out of his pocket and holds it up to the microphone) ok, we have an update on the weather…

I can’t blame them- they put out the info as soon as it was available, but waiting for their breaking weather statement while I’m getting pelted with hail is about as useful as their traffic reports.

The St. Mark blog, ran by principle Charlie Roy (how cool is that, a blog run by a school principle!) usually addresses issues specific to St. Mark School, but the most recent post addresses a suggestion by Fr. Terry Cassidy to sell Notre Dame High School and use the cash to move into Manual.

The Peoria Diocese is going to close the current Notre Dame and move north… again… so it is an interesting thought to move back to the heart of Peoria. I’m sure Manual would scare off alot of well-to-do parents, but I’m not thrilled about moving farther north than the northern-most grade school in Peoria; but it seems like that’s their plan- follow the money and build a large sprawling campus in a corn field (probably about 15 acres would be sufficient, don’t you think?).

The tax man’s taken all my dough,
And left me in my stately home,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
And I can’t sail my yacht,
He’s taken everything I’ve got,
All I’ve got’s this sunny afternoon.

Save me, save me, save me from this squeeze.
I got a big fat mama trying to break me.
And I love to live so pleasantly,
Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime

My girlfriend’s run off with my car,
And gone back to her ma and pa,
Telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty.
Now I’m sitting here,
Sipping at my ice cold beer,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.

Help me, help me, help me sail away,
Well give me two good reasons why I oughta stay.
‘Cause I love to live so pleasantly,
Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime

Ah, save me, save me, save me from this squeeze.
I got a big fat mama trying to break me.
And I love to live so pleasantly,
Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime

Another guilty pleasure besides my love of the song Brandy is my love of the crappy quasi-mexican food at Pepe Taco. Well, they’re back open complete with a little sign saying “taco tuesday”. I forgot to bring my camera today, dammit, because the temporary big hand-painted sign saying “Mexican Restaurant Now Open” is a classic. I was actually hoping for something a little more along the lines of Vallarta’s, but the small sign that says “taco tuesday” makes me think it’s a little less authentic and more Pepe’ish. Whatever it is, it’s gotta be better than McDonalds.

Update: Got My Picture, and it’s called Gran Azteca

On Saturday night I reaffirmed what I already knew: F. Scott’s is the best restaurant in Peoria.  Hands down, no argument, and you’ll never convince me otherwise.

 

If you’re going to invite people to a cookout and tell them that we’ll eat at 1, don’t get pissed off when at 1:30, we ask you to start the grill!

 

I hope that Peoria Police Officer Parker loses his job, at the absolute minimum. Involuntary Manslaughter?  He sounds like a real hard-ass to me.  I wonder how many DUI’s he’s issued?

 

My wife bemoaned the fact that the rain was going to dampen whatever plans Dad’s had on Father’s day.  No, I said, it won’t.  As proof, I showed her a guy and his wife doing some landscaping, and another guy mowing his lawn.  In the rain.

 

I know I will lose all credibility when I say this, but the song Brandy never gets old.

I haven’t had much time for serious blogging lately (because I’m oh such a serious blogger), so I’ll leave you this to mull over:

Country with the lowest birthrate on Earth: Vatican City

Country with the lowest divorce rate on Earth: Vatican City 

Thank You, CJ for reminding me of my favorite ad campaigns.

I had to do a little Hard Drive shopping on Sunday, so I went over to Office Depot only to find that the smallest one in stock is 300GB with a mail in rebate to put it under $100.

Why in heaven’s name would I need a 300GB hard-drive?  I’m sure there are people in the world that would find it useful, for instance if you were trying to build a database of the world’s phone calls, but it seemed like overkill to me, so I passed.

I drove over to Circuit City, which had a much better selection.  100GB for $80 or 160GB, after a mail-in rebate for $50.  I don’t need 160GB; heck, I don’t need 100GB, and I don’t feel the need to call bragging rights with the biggest hard-drive on the block, but I had to let my wallet do the talking and went with the still obscenely large 160GB drive- complete with TWO mail in rebates.

Incidently, it took nearly two hours to format the damn thing!