Peoria Illinoisan

David Letterman’s Top Ten Signs It’s Too Damn Hot:

10. It’s so hot, Tom Ridge had raised the terror alert to “Sticky”

9. It’s so hot, drug dealers are selling something called “Iced Crackuccino”

8. It’s so hot, Michael Moore’s making a new movie, “Fahrenheit 98 and Humid”

7. It’s so hot, Randy Johnson is demanding a trade to Montreal

6. It’s so hot, Jennifer Lopez just got engaged to Mister Softee

5. It’s so hot, delicious hot pockets are now simply referred to as “pockets”

4. It’s so hot, Martha Stewart just got an inside tip on air conditioners

3. It’s so hot, even Ralph Nader’s campaign is showing traces of heat

2. It’s so hot, Courtney Love has an excuse for being disoriented and unintelligible

1. It’s so hot, hookers are charging 50 dollars just to blow on you

Robin Williams from Good Morning Vietnam: “It’s hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking.”

“It’s gonna be hot and wet! That’s nice if you’re with a lady, but ain’t no good if you’re in the jungle!”

Spike Lee’s movie Do The Right Thing: “It ain’t never to hot to fuck!”

 

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 15th, 2006 at 11:41 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.