Peoria Illinoisan

…on an extended weekend excursion.

I learned all about Cheese Curds, which are supposed to sqeak when you bite into them, unless they’re of the deepfried variety sold at Dairy Queen.

I learned all about Pasties, and they have nothing to do with strip clubs.

I learned what a Fish Fry on a Friday night at a Supper Club is all about.

I learned that it is not wise to say you are a Bears fan while watching a Packers game in Wisconsin (even if it’s a pre-season game).

I learned that I am a FIB. Fucking Illinois Bastard. After taking ten minutes trying to explain that I’m not from Chicago, I was forgiven and told that they appreciate my tourism dollars.

I learned that my brother has conquered one of the 12 recovery steps of Tree-Hugging-olism: cutting down those that block your view of the water.

I learned that it is too cold up there. 40 degrees at night, in AUGUST!? Are you crazy!

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